Nothing feels quite as ironic as trying desperately to teach your almost 21 month old son an important life skill (and being slightly frustrated that he hasn't caught on yet), when it is something that you, yourself, are OBVIOUSLY still learning to master.
I must admit that I have been pretty impatient about all of the changes coming up in the near future. I desperately want (and really, expect) things to work out, but instead of patiently having faith, I'm impatiently wanting to KNOW how it will all work out NOW so that I can feel a sense of control in my life.
Each moment is excruciatingly long as I wait for a phone call from someone, anyone, wanting to look at our house (and hopefully buy it!). I carry my phone in my pocket, with the sound turned up as high as it can go so that there is NO chance that I will miss a call. I impatiently wait to hear from our realtors about the counter offer we submitted on Sunday and find myself getting more and more annoyed that I haven't heard ANYTHING in the time frame that they expected.
Pregnancy drags on and on. And as each day passes and my body grows and hurts more and more, I wish that it would just be over with so I could feel like myself again! As the minutes SLOWLY tick by during each day, I WISH I could speed up the time until Nathan's nap time.
I anxiously await the arrival of mine and Nathan's passports in the mail so that we can get on to our next step of applying for visas. And then I will undoubtedly anxiously and impatiently await word on our visas. I search and search for airfare prices even though we can't book anything yet because we have to wait. wait. wait!
I am a planner. I want to KNOW what is going to happen. I want CONTROL. I do not want to be FORCED to learn patience. I want to teach my son what patience is, but without having to actually BE patient myself.
But life has a way of FORCING you to wait- of showing you that you are NOT the one in control, even if sometimes you get to "feel" that way. Life has a way of teaching patience and building faith, but it is up to US to actually learn the lesson.
And so as I repeatedly tell my son, "Just a minute, be patient!" I can't help but feel a little sheepish. How can I expect HIM to be patient when I myself am so obviously NOT patient (especially right now)?
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((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))
Personally, I have decided that the number ONE thing that this life is intended to teach each of us is patience . . . maybe even more than obedience and trust . . . though those are threads intertwined in patience . . .
This IS a tough one, though . . . for ALL of us . . .
You and your sweet family will be in my prayers during this hectic, trying, stretchy time . . .
This, too, shall pass, and believe it or not, there will even be little things you will miss about this period of time . . . That ALWAYS surprises me, but it IS true . . .
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